HOUSTON, TX – “OH SHIT, OH FUCK” screamed a remarkably sweaty C.J. Stroud as he jolted up from his bed. The Houston Texans star quarterback had recently suffered a nightmare of unimaginable horrors – having to play at the helm of a professional football team that did not gift-wrap him several elite wide receivers. “It was worse than anything I’ve
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The NFL has reportedly told the Houston Texans and Indianapolis Colts they are not allowed to wear the colors red or blue in any fashion for the team’s season opener, which will be held in Compton, California. The news came on the heels of the revelation that the Packers and Eagles were similarly banned from wearing green in their opening
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There really isn’t much to this story. Just a local Houston guy was gonna “kablooie” himself with a revolver he bought at the corner store cause the Texans are so bad and the coaching staff is awful and their star quarterback is a sex offender and whatnot. Anyways, they won a game so he told us he’s gonna wait one
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Washington (FG) – President Joe Biden presented the United States army with a new challenge following the removal of all American troops from Afghanistan: rebuild and stabilize the Houston Texans’ NFL franchise. “My fellow Americans, the war in Afghanistan is over,” President Biden said at the White House, triumphantly. “However, the battle in Houston to get this poverty franchise just
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