Philip Lindsay Was Happy To Be Promoted To Fantasy Starter, But It Was Only An Attempt To Trick Someone Into Accepting A Trade For Him And Now He’s Crying
Aurora, CO – Texans RB Philip Lindsay was riding the pine in the “Brokeback Mountain Fan Club” Fantasy Football league on ESPN when his name was finally called up to the majors, and slotted into the starting lineup for the first time this season.
“Yeah, man, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Just one chance for my name to get called. I’m ready to help out ‘Ceedeez Nuts’ and be a part of this. Ever since draft night at Jeremy’s house in August, I’ve been waiting.” CD
It was at that moment a reporter’s hand shot up, and delivered the devastating blow.
“Hey Philip, Fantasy Gazette unpaid intern here, do you know you have been included in NINE trade offers for better running backs in the last five minutes?” Lindsay sunk back in his chair, holding back tears. “No…I wasn’t aware.”
Ceedeez Nuts, who currently holds a 1-2 record, had made a slew of trade offers using Philip Lindsay as bait to land a marquee RB. Some offers sent out in that five minutes included:
Lindsay and Mike Evans for Alvin Kamara
Lindsay and Kenneth Gainwell for Dalvin Cook
Lindsay, Diontae Johnson, and Darius Slayton for Christian McCaffrey and Darren Waller
The Texans RB was emotional and began sobbing after finding out his team had used him as bait. After waiting nearly a month for his big moment, it was all tragically for gain by attempting to trick the stupidest opponent.
At press time, a team named “My Ball Zach Ertz” accepted an offer to receive Lindsay, who he now believed to be a RB2 and two other players who were suddenly now starters for Derrick Henry. Lindsay cried even harder when we told him the offer was accepted within ten seconds.