Fantasy Gazette

Birmingham, AL – Local conservative man Jonathan Watson has exacted his revenge on former NFL QB Colin Kaepernick by drafting him with his final pick in the “Make Fantasy Great Again” league he created with some friends from high school. Watson plans to leave Kaepernick on his bench every single week. “Finally got that son’ bitch,” Watson said with a large amount of chewing tobacco in his mouth. “This’ll show him not to kneel and undo tens of thousands of years of American freedom.”

According to sources, the plan had been hatched months ago, when Watson realized Kaepernick was going undrafted in nearly every league, but that sitting in the waivers just wasn’t teaching Kaepernick enough of a lesson. Now, he needs to be both rostered and emphatically benched with zero chance of being played. At press time, Watson had shifted his stance and was planning on starting Kaepernick for “a few weeks so he can score 0 points and look like a terrible football player and a dumbass and a freedom hater.”