Fantasy Gazette

Max, the stupid new name for HBO, has announced development of a new Game of Thrones sequel that will be set in the “Chiefs Kingdom,” our sources have learned.

Details of the plot are a bit sketchy, but it appears the series will focus on Jon Snow, who, after becoming King of the North, gets bored and develops an all-consuming new hobby: Fantasy Jousting. His adventures land him in the perilous Chiefs Kingdom in an 8-episode arc.

Jousting is, of course, the popular sport where participants ride on horses and try to kill their opponents by stabbing them with long, pointy sticks. Snow is obsessed with the sport and reads the Fantasy Jousting Gazette religiously for its humor and insights on the best players who are still alive and don’t have debilitating head injuries or internal bleeding.

Here’s what we know about the show: in the pivotal “Draft Day” episode of the sequel, Snow will make the mistake of picking overweight Edward of House Lacy for his fantasy jousting team. Snow thought Edward’s girth would keep him on the horse longer and protect him from jabs, but fate intervened. Sir Lacy tore his Achilles just 45 seconds into his first joust. Snow’s team finished dead last in his fantasy jousting league, even below Hodor, who constantly forgot to set his lineup.

For being the ultimate loser, Snow is subjected to a terrible punishment — he must spend a week far beyond the wall in the dreaded Chiefs Kingdom, where it’s Red Drinkers, not White Walkers, that roam the frozen tundra.

In this treacherous place called Chiefs Kingdom, Snow is forced to endure a series of harrowing experiences: brick road dragon racing with Sir Rashee Rice, singing drunken karaoke with Travys Kelcei, attending the Kingdom’s championship rally, feuding with the rabid supporters of House Swift, and worst of all, dancing in a TikTok video with the Prince’s frivolous brother, Jackson Mahomes. 

Will Jon Snow survive the ordeal? Or will he be forever banished to the outer realms with Kadarius Toney? Tune in to Game of Thrones: Chiefs Kingdom on Max to find out.