Fantasy Gazette

MUSK HQ – In a shocking development amidst his acquisition of Twitter, CEO Elon Musk announced yet another new feature regarding Twitter’s verification badges – no more bad fantasy football takes.

“I’m all about accountability, and we must hold no one more accountable than fantasy football analysts,” said Musk. “I took a look at the industry and what people want, and they just want to humiliate and punish analysts for old takes. I’m on it. Musk is daddy,” he concluded.

Also, you will owe Elon his league fees plus taxes should he use your advice and miss the playoffs, then he’ll send your ass to outer space.

From now on, fantasy analysts can earn verification badges just like everyone else – paying $8/month to space daddy Elon. However, should your old take about Travis Etienne or Michael Thomas resurface, your checkmark will be taken away. We think that’s a good thing.

Analyst Mark Wang was the first recipient of the new feature.

“Back in the summer, when all we do is spew hot takes for clicks 30 f*cking times a day, I convinced myself Chase Edmonds was a RB1 this year, and Saquon would get hurt again. I’m really good at predicting random injuries, so this was a shoe-in,” said Wang. “Papa Musk took away my checkmark. I thought Fantasy Receipts was bad, but this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

If you’re a fantasy analyst doing this full-time or even for fun, be prepared for yet another onslaught of online humiliation labeled as “accountability.”