NEW YORK – The mobile payment service known as Venmo revealed to stockholders and the general public today that its entire company infrastructure is being kept alive by fantasy football players continuously sending the same twenty dollars back and forth throughout the course of the year. “Friends and colleagues that join leagues together are constantly moving the $20 league entry
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Following yet another vicious brawl in the stands during a game, the NFL and NFLPA announced a joint statement during a press conference this week. The parties are hoping to put a swift end to the violence, and announced their recommendation during the event, which is that everyone going to NFL games should bring a gun for self-defense. “We are
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WESTERN ASIA, MANY YEARS AGO – Ugga! Me caveman named Grog. You read on screen box about me now. I hunt, fish. Me live in cave and love fantasy football. Now, important word next. Me bring big news! Few days past, after Grog pick lots of running backs in draft with standard scores, Grog notice dark sky, me shiver. Me
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It’s the kind of stuff that sends chills up your spine. A famous social media and fantasy football thread writer was left heavily disturbed and shaken when he looked at his latest content for the upcoming season and realized the sentences he wrote were left unbroken, and therefore considered a paragraph. “No, no, this isn’t right,” said the thread artist.
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Local fantasy football player Darren Dutchyshen has always had a very solid work ethic. He plays in multiple leagues and prides himself on his NFL knowledge. This fuels Darren to pull out all of the stops for a fantasy football championship in his home league (containing his high school friends who barely monitor the NFL in the off-season). His tactic:
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ST. LOUIS, MO – Local fantasy football player Damon Brunswick was reportedly “shaken” and “disturbed” after a quick YouTube search led him to a video titled Kadarius Toney Career Highlight Reel (NEXT TYREEK HILL??) was a mere 0:43 seconds long. “Wait, wait…this can’t be right. Where’s the rest of it? This guy is supposed to be Patrick Mahomes’ new favorite
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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Local man and avid fantasy football player Ethan Cassidy recently told friends that he would be fading Travis Kelce this year for fantasy football purposes. He noted that the tight end, who he believed was a bad draft pick for each of the last four seasons due to his age, would be a bad draft pick this
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Durham, NC – The Kettlemans are like any other blue-collared, red-blooded American family. They enjoy summer vacations to Myrtle Beach, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and their golden retreiver, Sadie. They also like the National Football League. More specifically, the draft…which they’ve just gathered together to watch this Thursday evening in addition to an absolutely soul-crushing amount of white guilt.
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NEW YORK CITY, NY – In a shocking turn of events, new Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers has struck fear into the hearts of the NFL world Wednesday when a troubling report revealed he got lost walking the crowded and confusing streets of New York. According to sources, Rodgers decided to go for a leisurely stroll around the city but soon
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Lexington, KY – It’s a beautiful time in any dynasty fantasy football player’s life: the moment they know their rebuild is over. Just ask Paul Forman, whose years of research and elaborate trades have prepared his dynasty team for a championship run no earlier than the year of our Lord 2038. “After sending away D’Andre Swift and Jaylen Waddle for
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Fantasy Gazette 