Fantasy Gazette

Local fantasy football player Darren Dutchyshen has always had a very solid work ethic. He plays in multiple leagues and prides himself on his NFL knowledge. This fuels Darren to pull out all of the stops for a fantasy football championship in his home league (containing his high school friends who barely monitor the NFL in the off-season). His tactic: mock drafts…a lot of them. His league is officially on notice after Dutchyshen crushed his 40th mock draft of the off-season.

Darren starts getting an idea of ADPs in April, and digests NFL news accordingly while monitoring draft trends. Mock Drafts are crucial in Darren’s research process. And starting early July, he tries to get a minimum of three mock drafts a day while his leaguemates earn promotions at work and watch television with their families. “ADPs will be different when draft season comes, but you have to know the trends of price to get a good sense of true value, which I failed to do on mock drafts #9, #17, #18, and #29,” stated Dutchyshen. “But mock draft #40? It was perfect. This strategy will finally end my title drought.”

Dutchyshen has never won a championship in the 7 years that he has been in the league – and will take last this upcoming season.

The closest Dutchyshen got to glory was in 2021, when Najee Harris brutally erased his lead on the last play of Monday Night Football with a long touchdown run. While all of his work was instantly nullified, his opponent was fast asleep, resting for his accounting presentation the next morning. Dutchyshen blamed himself for only doing 20 mock drafts that year instead of having the computer drafting Cooper Kupp for him like his opponent did.

In a somber interview with the Gazette, Dutchyshen admitted his new “strategy” will finally be the answer he was looking for. Dutchyshen stated: “The macro-environment for positional structure is lining up perfectly this year. If the trends hold up until draft day then this will finally be my year.”

At press time, Dutchyshen finally admitted the strategy he used on mock draft #40 that will land him last place: ZeroRB.