The Shanahan coaching tree is the gift that keeps on giving. Following the early offensive success of Saints Offensive Coordinator Klint Kubiak, the latest godsend in offensive schematics, NFL teams are already making Head Coach offers to Jordan McVay, the one-year-old son of Los Angeles Rams Head Coach Sean McVay. “This toddler is a genius, plain and simple,” one NFL
Read more
Following a secret initiative to relocate one of the NFL’s saddest franchises, the Carolina Panthers have officially been approved for a relocation to the fictional country of Wakanda.
Read more
CHARLOTTE, NC – Panthers owner David Tepper, recently in the limelight for questionable decisions and antics, has hired a new analytical “wizkid” after he watched the 2011 sports film Moneyball: actor Jonah Hill. “The Oakland baseball club was really able to turn things around despite having bad players and a small market,” Tepper said. “So I did some searching on
Read more
Our winners and losers from the first round of the 2024 NFL Draft.
Read more
INSIDE A ROOM WITH LEATHER COUCHES AND SHURE MICROPHONES IN FRONT OF RETIRED ATHLETES – Cam Newton found himself seated inside a room with leather couches and Shure microphones in front of other retired athletes and was struggling to find football-specific terms to tell Brock Purdy to kill himself. “You know, he really just a game manager. He doesn’t make
Read more
AP – An NFL Franchise known for its mediocrity across nearly every possible facet has turned a new leaf by ruthlessly firing their head coach, sources say. The team has an abysmal record to go along with poor players, below-average front office personnel, predictable playcalling, lack of fan enthusiasm, and pretty much every other thing a team could have go
Read more
Durham, NC – The Kettlemans are like any other blue-collared, red-blooded American family. They enjoy summer vacations to Myrtle Beach, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and their golden retreiver, Sadie. They also like the National Football League. More specifically, the draft…which they’ve just gathered together to watch this Thursday evening in addition to an absolutely soul-crushing amount of white guilt.
Read more
CHARLOTTE, NC – Drunk with power following the acquisition of QB Baker Mayfield from Cleveland, the Carolina Panthers announced Wednesday they will “stop at nothing” to acquire Bills superstar QB Josh Allen in order to complete their collection of the 2018 quarterback class. “This is the move our fans have been begging us to do,” head coach Matt Rhule said.
Read more
“What That Bear Doing?” an upcoming biopic on the life and legacy of Panthers WR Robby Anderson has been announced via Columbia Pictures and will feature comedian Eric Andre playing Robby. The film will detail Anderson’s early life, rise to NFL semi-stardom, and devastating years of torture from Adam Gase, before being set free to play in sunny Carolina. “Yeah,
Read more
As it does every April, the first round of the NFL draft brought plenty of surprises and meaningful picks. It is crucial for all fantasy football players to take a look at the draft results and know what it means for certain players. Let’s dive into the first 32 players selected, and discover the winners and losers of the draft
Read more
Fantasy Gazette 