Tag Archives: Wide Receivers

Federal Reserve Considering Measures To Curb Rookie WR Inflation

Washington, DC – In response to record-high inflation rates, the Federal Reserve raised interest rates 11 times since March 2022. Now that prices have largely stabilized, the regulatory body will shift its focus to where it is needed most: the 2024 rookie class of wide receivers in fantasy football. The overall inflation rate may have decreased from 9.1% to 3%,

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All Chargers Players Except Quentin Johnston Out Sick Today After Catching Colds

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Los Angeles Chargers entire roster has been infected with a strain of an aggressive cold and will miss today’s practice, per source. However, this does not include WR Quentin Johnston. After the sinus/respiratory illness swept through the organization, Johnston was simply unable to catch the cold his teammates did. “Just couldn’t reel this one in,”

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Frustrated Stefon Diggs Just Wants To Be Huge Whiny Bitch In More Interesting City

BUFFALO, NY – Superstar wideout Stefon Diggs has been vocal over time about his frustrations in Buffalo, announcing today that his main priority is to be a huge whiny bitch of a man in a significantly more interesting city, preferably outside of upstate New York. “I’m over Buffalo, man,” Diggs said in a tweet. “The playoff losses sting even more

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Rockstar Games Reveals Antonio Brown As Playable Character In Grand Theft Auto VI

AP – Rockstar Games isn’t done making headlines. The gaming company dropped the highly-anticipated trailer for Grand Theft Auto VI this week, with the YouTube trailer already breaking records in number of views. Most excitedly, perhaps, is Rockstar’s announcement that one of the featured playable character is former NFL Wide Receiver Antonio Brown. Strauss Zelnick, the CEO of Rockstar’s parent

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BREAKING: NFL Will Allow Defenders To Use Guns Since Players Who Wanted To Break The Law And Bring One Would Have Anyway

In conjunction with the NFLPA and Competition Committee, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced a bizarre new rule to take effect beginning immediately: defenders will be allowed to use firearms of any kind on the football field to stop ballcarriers. The rule was voted to pass unanimously after someone brought up the unbreakable logic that any players who truly wanted to

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Bills Beat Writer “Guarantees” Gabriel Davis Will Have 118 Catches For 1,490 yards and 20 Touchdowns This Season

Buffalo, NY – James McIntyre, a 23-year-old part-time sports columnist at The Buffalo Inquirer, stated that Bills’ WR Gabriel Davis is primed to go off in 2022, claiming Davis will “like, for sure have exactly 118 catches, 1,490 yards, and 20 touchdowns this year.” McIntyre also added that he “guarantees” and “promises” it will happen. “Davis was Josh Allen’s favorite

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Calvin Ridley Has Suspension Reduced After Using Gambling Winnings To Buy Steroids

Atlanta, GA – Falcons star wideout Calvin Ridley has gotten his year-long suspension from the NFL reduced after using his gambling winnings to buy performance enhancing drugs. Ridley had been suspended for betting on NFL games on his smartphone, but appealed the suspension to Roger Goodell and the NFLPA this week while absolutely yoked from the steroids. “We’re thrilled to

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