Tag Archives: Lions

Finally: This Dynasty Player’s Rebuild Will Officially Be Over In Just 15 More Years

Lexington, KY – It’s a beautiful time in any dynasty fantasy football player’s life: the moment they know their rebuild is over. Just ask Paul Forman, whose years of research and elaborate trades have prepared his dynasty team for a championship run no earlier than the year of our Lord 2038. “After sending away D’Andre Swift and Jaylen Waddle for

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Lions Fan Doesn’t Want To Watch Preseason Game For Fear Of Seeing “Hard Knocks” Spoilers

DETROIT, MI – Local diehard Lions fan and “Hard Knocks” enjoyer Matthew Harvey was adamant to friends and family not to update him on the Lions final preseason game Sunday for fear he might see a spoiler of Tuesday night’s Hard Knocks episode. “By the time the episode airs, I plan to not be caught up with what’s about to

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Jets Fan Grateful His Team Never Puts Him Through Playoff Heartbreak

NEW YORK, NY – Local Jets fan Dennis Anderson was reportedly in high spirits Monday morning when his favorite NFL team, the New York Jets, successfully spared him from enduring a heartbreaking playoff loss. “After the way some of these teams lost this weekend, it feels amazing to have my team thoughtfully avoid that kind of disappointment altogether for guys

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NFL Approves 32-Team Playoff Format Because You’ll Still Watch It You Slut

New York, NY – Roger Goodell, along with the NFL Board of Trustees, excitedly announced Monday that beginning in the 2022-23 season, the NFL playoffs will expand to 32 teams because you’ll still watch it you slut. “You know you want this,” Goodell said at a press conference Monday. “We know every part of you. We know what you want.

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Free Agent RB Todd Gurley Visiting Your League’s Trade Block

UNITED STATES – Sources confirmed Thursday unsigned FA running back Todd Gurley is making another visit, this time to the trade block in your fantasy football leagues. The news comes after Gurley visited Detroit & Baltimore in recent weeks. Unless you are incredibly emotional and base your decisions on the most recent news and hype you can ignore this trade

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Webster’s Dictionary Adds ‘SZN’ after Overwhelming Demands From Fantasy Football Players

SPRINGFIELD, MA – Webster’s Dictionary, the leading language provider in the United States, announced that after an incredibly high demand from an unusual source they will be adding the word “SZN” to all dictionaries. What does SZN mean? This unusual source is none other than the fantasy football community. For those unfamiliar, fantasy football is a game based on the

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