Week 8 of the NFL Season is in the books and it was a week filled with a thrilling Hail Mary, a Woody Johnson, a Calvin Ridley mindfuck, and lots of tight ends. Here are the recapped headlines you need to know: Lots of Entendres The Patriots ended their six game losing streak beating the Jets 25-22. After the game, despondent Jets
Read more
New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers is coming off an atrocious game in a loss to the Vikings and a late, game-sealing INT against the division rival Buffalo Bills on Monday Night Football. “Listen, this season is huge for everyone in the organization, and that includes everyone except me,” said Rodgers in his weekly press conference. “They made me throw
Read more
NEW YORK – Despite making headlines throughout last NFL season on his speedy recovery from a torn achilles and his long-awaited return to football, New York Jets starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers is reconsidering his position and may in fact change his mind about being Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s running mate. The reason? Rodgers learned over the weekend that Robert F.
Read more
NEW YORK, NY – Following his infamous injury on Monday Night Football, Jets QB Aaron Rodgers met with a renowned achilles surgeon, during which he told the doctor he would be foregoing the standard surgical procedure and instead be doing his own research. “I laid out clearly the standard scientific procedure for Aaron,” said Dr. Phil Harmonic, the highest-rated Achilles
Read more
NEW YORK CITY, NY – In a shocking turn of events, new Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers has struck fear into the hearts of the NFL world Wednesday when a troubling report revealed he got lost walking the crowded and confusing streets of New York. According to sources, Rodgers decided to go for a leisurely stroll around the city but soon
Read more
AP – Aaron Rodgers has informed the New York Jets that in addition to acquiring Allen Lazard, Randall Cobb, Marcedes Lewis, and Donald Driver the final domino will be moving the team’s headquarters and operations to northern Wisconsin. Once the move is done, and the franchise plays their games in Lambeau Field, Rodgers will finally be a Jet.
Read more
[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as
Read more
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Local man Daniel Roberts has always followed the NFL. He normally has a keen eye for pointing out underrated quarterbacks like Jimmy Garoppolo, but recent reports showed his affection for “Jimmy G” is actually just a reflection of him being a dumbass, sources say. “Our team ran several tests to determine the root causes of
Read more
Minneapolis, MN – Sports analyst and writer Herb Arnold made headlines this week when he announced that no matter what happens in Week 18, Aaron Rodgers will not get his vote for NFL MVP. “I will not be voting for Rodgers. He’s had a great statistical season, but he’s caused a bunch of distractions and his mom cheated on me
Read more
Hey Gazetters, today is Turkey Day! Many of us are gathered around the table with family we don’t often see (or want to see). If you’re anything like us, you likely want to completely ignore all family and just watch football in peace. We would love that for you! Unfortunately, that’s not how it works…and we know you’ll probably end
Read more
Fantasy Gazette 