Tag Archives: Packers

NFL Warns Texans And Colts Not To Wear Red Or Blue For Season Opener In Compton

The NFL has reportedly told the Houston Texans and Indianapolis Colts they are not allowed to wear the colors red or blue in any fashion for the team’s season opener, which will be held in Compton, California. The news came on the heels of the revelation that the Packers and Eagles were similarly banned from wearing green in their opening

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Increase In NFL “Injuries” Actually Because Medical Tent Has Lollipops

Already, fantasy football players have dealt with an alarming number of injuries to key starters this season. While it’s obvious players like Emari Demercado and Bilal Powell are absolute f*cking studs, we know not every fantasy football enjoyer still has precious FAAB dollars to spend. These injuries are getting out of control. Sure, there’s the cheap turf fields and whoever

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Kadarius Toney Truther Shaken After Finding Out His Career Highlight Reel Is Just 43 Seconds Long

ST. LOUIS, MO – Local fantasy football player Damon Brunswick was reportedly “shaken” and “disturbed” after a quick YouTube search led him to a video titled Kadarius Toney Career Highlight Reel (NEXT TYREEK HILL??) was a mere 0:43 seconds long. “Wait, wait…this can’t be right. Where’s the rest of it? This guy is supposed to be Patrick Mahomes’ new favorite

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We’re Not In Wisconsin Anymore: Aaron Rodgers Has Gotten Lost On His First Day In New York City

NEW YORK CITY, NY – In a shocking turn of events, new Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers has struck fear into the hearts of the NFL world Wednesday when a troubling report revealed he got lost walking the crowded and confusing streets of New York. According to sources, Rodgers decided to go for a leisurely stroll around the city but soon

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Aaron Rodgers Informs Jets Final Step To Acquiring Him Relocating Franchise To Upper Wisconsin

AP – Aaron Rodgers has informed the New York Jets that in addition to acquiring Allen Lazard, Randall Cobb, Marcedes Lewis, and Donald Driver the final domino will be moving the team’s headquarters and operations to northern Wisconsin. Once the move is done, and the franchise plays their games in Lambeau Field, Rodgers will finally be a Jet.

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Aaron Rodgers Ends Darkness Retreat After Just Six Minutes So He Can Listen To Joe Rogan’s Podcast

[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as

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MVP Voter Won’t Vote For Aaron Rodgers Because His Mom Cheated On Him In High School

Minneapolis, MN – Sports analyst and writer Herb Arnold made headlines this week when he announced that no matter what happens in Week 18, Aaron Rodgers will not get his vote for NFL MVP. “I will not be voting for Rodgers. He’s had a great statistical season, but he’s caused a bunch of distractions and his mom cheated on me

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NFL Suspends Aaron Rodgers For Not Saying He “Rosters” The Chicago Bears

CHICAGO, IL – Eat your heart out, Jon Gruden. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers has been suspended for the remainder of the 2021 season for his egregious language following a touchdown on Sunday in Chicago. After scrambling to his right and sliding through the side of the end zone towards the stands, Rodgers was audibly heard saying he “owns” and “has

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AMAZING: Fantasy Player Seeking A Healthier Lifestyle Was Only On His Phone For Eleven Hours, Thirty-Eight Minutes Sunday

Sheboygan, WI – A story too good to be true. Local NFL fanatic and avid fantasy player Matthew Schmidt checked his iPhone’s “screen time” and recorded a new personal low for a NFL Sunday: a mere 11 hours and 38 minutes. Way to go, Matthew! A feat he, his wife Katherine, and once-a-week neglected child Braylen were happy to celebrate

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