LAS VEGAS, NV – After the Las Vegas Raiders recently announced rookie QB Aidan O’Connell would be their starter moving forward, Jimmy Garoppolo has come forward to state he is going to mew “harder than ever before” to regain the starting position. For the unfamiliar, “mewing” is a new internet craze in which you alter the position of your tongue
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Already, fantasy football players have dealt with an alarming number of injuries to key starters this season. While it’s obvious players like Emari Demercado and Bilal Powell are absolute f*cking studs, we know not every fantasy football enjoyer still has precious FAAB dollars to spend. These injuries are getting out of control. Sure, there’s the cheap turf fields and whoever
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WASHINGTON, DC – A damning new report from within congress has revealed Dianne Feinstein (D – Calif.) was warned ahead of time in a private meeting that RB Josh Jacobs was indeed planning to return to the Las Vegas Raiders. The RB, who led the league in rushing yards in 2022, saw his stock plummet over the off-season with a
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We held a poetry contest centered around Raiders’ RB Josh Jacobs. Here are the winners.
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In conjunction with the NFLPA and Competition Committee, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced a bizarre new rule to take effect beginning immediately: defenders will be allowed to use firearms of any kind on the football field to stop ballcarriers. The rule was voted to pass unanimously after someone brought up the unbreakable logic that any players who truly wanted to
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Las Vegas, NV – Following a day of pulling himself up by his bootstraps, QB Derek Carr has been asked by Pro Bowl officials to stop handing out his resume to opposing team’s front office personnel. A likely trade or cut candidate, Carr was benched late in the 2022 season for Jarrett Stidham, left the team, and said goodbye to
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In the latest of a series of stunning moves, the AFC West – formerly comprised of the Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs, and Raiders, has traded the NFC for the entirety of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers franchise. In just the first days of the NFL’s new season, the Broncos acquired superstar QB, the Chargers traded the Bears for Khalil Mack, and the
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Hey Gazetters, today is Turkey Day! Many of us are gathered around the table with family we don’t often see (or want to see). If you’re anything like us, you likely want to completely ignore all family and just watch football in peace. We would love that for you! Unfortunately, that’s not how it works…and we know you’ll probably end
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LAS VEGAS, NV – The 2010 version of Jon Gruden, who will be unemployed from the NFL in 2021, woke up to a strange e-mail sitting in his inbox. “Hey that’s weird, man, it’s my attorney and it was sent 10 years from now,” Gruden said. “They say I’m getting sued by some guy named Jon Gruden from the future.
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NEW YORK, NY – Following a near week-long investigation into Raiders’ Head Coach Jon Gruden’s former e-mails, team owner Mark Davis decided to part ways with Gruden. It was then executives at Fox News decided Gruden would be a perfect fit to cover the National Football League for Fox. The hiring was made just nine minutes after he was fired.
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