Author Archives: theFantasyGazette

Local Fantasy Player Reluctantly Drafts Derrick Henry With Final Pick In PPR League

Tallahassee, FL – With the very last pick in his home full-point PPR league, a local fantasy player sighed deeply before selecting Titans RB Derrick Henry, sources confirmed. The mammoth RB has been a fantasy stud the past two years, but doesn’t really catch passes – making him completely irrelevant for PPR leagues. The brave, daring soul chose Henry over

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Study Shows Day Jobs Prevent Fantasy Football Players From Over $5 Billion In Annual Winnings

A new study has revealed that the day jobs thh he at tie fantasy football players to a desk is costing them a combined $5 billion in annual winnings from tournaments, leagues, and apps like DraftKings and FanDuel. We are not trying to demonize having a job,” Matthew Berry said Friday. “It is important to understand that there are more

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Woman Listening to Fantasy Football Podcast Not Sure why Men Need So Many Ads Reminding Them To Shave Their Balls

SEATTLE, WA – Local fantasy football player Courtney Smith was catching up on a few of her favorite podcasts when she was reportedly ‘confused’ why the male listeners needed to many reminders to shave their balls, sources to the Gazette confirmed. “I mean, I guess the new SkinSafe technology from Manscaped is kinda nice,” she said. “Are their male listeners

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Eric Andre Cast As Panthers WR Robby Anderson In Upcoming Biopic

“What That Bear Doing?” an upcoming biopic on the life and legacy of Panthers WR Robby Anderson has been announced via Columbia Pictures and will feature comedian Eric Andre playing Robby. The film will detail Anderson’s early life, rise to NFL semi-stardom, and devastating years of torture from Adam Gase, before being set free to play in sunny Carolina. “Yeah,

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Massive Fight At Fantasy Football Expo About Whether Or Not Jalen Hurts Is A QB1 Leads To Street Riot

CANTON, OH – A simple question about whether or not Jalen Hurts is a fantasy QB1 at the Fantasy Football Expo in Canton has escalated into an all-out riot in the streets, according to sources. A panel on QBs opened up microphones to a Q&A session when one attendee got up and asked if Jalen Hurts should be in the

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Gotcha: Undercover Therapists Reveal 2021 Fantasy Football Expo Is Actually A Gambling Addiction Intervention

CANTON, OH – Thousands of fantasy football players gasped in a horrific shock as undercover therapists revealed themselves at the 2021 fantasy football expo and asked attendees to sit in circles of 10 people. The DoubleTree Hotel in Canton, OH had been set up as an elaborate ruse to get fantasy football players the gambling addiction counseling they desperately need.

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Urban Meyer: “I Am In A Draft Right Now And I Don’t Know If I Will Select Trevor Lawrence Or Gardner Minshew”

JACKSONVILLE, FL – Jaguars first-year head coach Urban Meyer shocked reporters Thursday when he admitted he’s in the middle of a fantasy football draft and can’t decide between Trevor Lawrence and Gardner Minshew. “Yeah, I don’t have a freaking clue you guys,” Meyer said in a haze. “On one hand, Lawrence is a generational talent with an amazing resume. Minshew

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Alone And Forgotten: A Day In The Life Of A Fantasy Football Spouse

DarrenAge: 29Hometown: Encinitas, California The morning sun playfully peeks through the bamboo shades in the bedroom corner. The warm glow hits his eyelids and gently persuades Darren to awake from a deep sleep. “Hmm…no alarm, must be Sunday” he thinks as he rolls over to greet his wife Sara. The bed is empty – and already cold. “She must have

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