Category Archives: Player News

BREAKING: Kadarius Toney Says His Social Media Was Hacked By Someone Who Talks And Acts Exactly Like Him

THE INTERNET – Chiefs WR Kadarius Toney said he was unfortunately hacked online Tuesday by someone who “talks and acts exactly like me, man. Shit crazy out here.” Toney’s account was reportedly sending lewd DMs to women the hacker deemed “ugly as a mf, dawg” and the hacker’s identical voice to Toney was heard saying Daniel Jones missed him on

Read more

We’re Not In Wisconsin Anymore: Aaron Rodgers Has Gotten Lost On His First Day In New York City

NEW YORK CITY, NY – In a shocking turn of events, new Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers has struck fear into the hearts of the NFL world Wednesday when a troubling report revealed he got lost walking the crowded and confusing streets of New York. According to sources, Rodgers decided to go for a leisurely stroll around the city but soon

Read more

Ranking The 2023 Quarterback Class By College Jersey Number

After months of the most brilliant minds in football (and Dov Kleiman) picked apart the top QBs in the 2023 NFL draft, there’s still rigorous debate over who are the best ones. With a quarterback class this littered with talent and Will Levis, it’s no surprise the anticipation for the draft is sky-high. What people don’t understand is you can

Read more

BREAKING: NFL Will Allow Defenders To Use Guns Since Players Who Wanted To Break The Law And Bring One Would Have Anyway

In conjunction with the NFLPA and Competition Committee, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced a bizarre new rule to take effect beginning immediately: defenders will be allowed to use firearms of any kind on the football field to stop ballcarriers. The rule was voted to pass unanimously after someone brought up the unbreakable logic that any players who truly wanted to

Read more

Aaron Rodgers Informs Jets Final Step To Acquiring Him Relocating Franchise To Upper Wisconsin

AP – Aaron Rodgers has informed the New York Jets that in addition to acquiring Allen Lazard, Randall Cobb, Marcedes Lewis, and Donald Driver the final domino will be moving the team’s headquarters and operations to northern Wisconsin. Once the move is done, and the franchise plays their games in Lambeau Field, Rodgers will finally be a Jet.

Read more

Aaron Rodgers Ends Darkness Retreat After Just Six Minutes So He Can Listen To Joe Rogan’s Podcast

[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as

Read more

New Conspiracy Theory Claims Damar Hamlin Has Been Replaced By Avril Lavigne

BUFFALO, NY – A shocking new conspiracy theory has taken the internet by storm. Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who infamously suffered cardiac arrest on Monday Night Football earlier this year, was shown heavily covered up in a box suite during the Bills’ playoff clash with Cincinnati. Conspiracy theorists immediately and confidently took to their phones to point out that Hamlin

Read more

Antonio Brown Tired Of Being Disrespected By Therapist

Following yet another shocking event in which he embarrassed or otherwise degraded himself, former NFL star wide receiver Antonio Brown spoke to reporters and saying he was tired of being disrespected by his therapist. “It gets really old when you’re just trying to live your life and this mental health dude you meet with every week starts telling you about

Read more

Browns Fan Dies After Being Struck With Airborne Microsoft Surface Tablet

CLEVELAND, OH – Moments after a much-needed overtime victory against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Browns fans were innocently celebrating across FirstEnergy Stadium in Cleveland when a shocking tragedy struck. Jackson Worhauser, a 16-year-old seeing his very first Browns game, was drilled in the back of the head by a heat-seeking Microsoft Surface tablet that was errantly thrown from somewhere in

Read more
« Older Entries Recent Entries »