“We Kinda Feel Like This One’s For Us Too,” Say Highland Park High School Fans On Matthew Stafford’s Super Bowl Win
Los Angeles, LA – Jackson Johnson, an up-and-coming sportswriter, podcast host, and social media personality, announced that following the end of Super Bowl 56 tonight, Bengals QB Joe Burrow is either the next Tom Brady, or should quit forever for being so ass at the sport of football, sources confirmed. “Yeah, it’s pretty simple.” Johnson said. “Either Burrow is a
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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Gazette sources confirmed Thursday that a leaguemate just sent you the most dogshit trade offer you’ve ever seen in your life for your best player. The trade consists of multiple running backs above the age of 28 and a wide receiver who caught two touchdowns last season. Multiple sources around your league also tell us that
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Following another Head Coach cycle that produced less-than-stellar results for diversity and African-American hirings, the NFL announced Tuesday that – beginning this upcoming season – the “Rooney Rule” would be expanding to include candidates who claim that “some of their best friends in the whole world” are black. “This is truly an exciting time for diversity and inclusion,” said Roger
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Nashville, TN – Local fantasy football player Isaiah Maxwell was reflecting on his 10th-place fantasy football finish Thursday when he decided to take the treacherous, grief-filled journey back to the “Draft Recap” page on his fantasy league’s website, sources say. Maxwell was “distraught, spiraling, and I think about to cry even” said his wife. “I heard a bunch of stuff
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Los Angeles, CA – Following the Rams’ Super Bowl 56 victory, the team announced they are looking for paid actors to travel down to Los Angeles later this week. “This is a historic time to be someone we paid to wear a Rams shirt and stand on the street for two hours,” owner Stan Kroenke said. “If you are one
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NEW YORK, NY – Giants president and CEO John Mara was at the center of attention Tuesday when reports surfaced that Brian Flores was suing the NFL because the Giants gave him a “sham” interview for head coach when they had already selected Brian Daboll. Mara stood firm that the Giants were not being racist in their actions because they
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According to sources, President Biden’s chief medical adviser Dr. Anthony Fauci has recommended Americans who want to stay safe from covid should reach, and advance through, the NFL playoffs. “Everyone in the general public – from factory workers to middle managers to their mothers and cousins – should all be actively trying to reach the NFL playoffs,” said Fauci to
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LAS VEGAS, NV – Raiders owner Mark Davis was reflecting on his team’s winning season and playoff berth when he remarked his favorite part was letting that “Make-A-Wish” kid catch 100 passes for over 1,000 yards and 9 touchdowns. “I can’t remember what was wrong with that kid but it looks severe,” said Davis. “He was so determined to have
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