“Brian,” a fantasy football enthusiast and Applebee’s server from Cincinnati, OH has been playing fantasy football for nearly 20 years. Tragically, he has accumulated exactly zero league championships. Brian had his best finish, 2nd place, in 2011 (he only lost because of injuries, league-mate collusion, a stupid scoring bonus for touchdowns of over 40 yards, forgetting it wasn’t TE premium
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Buffalo, NY – James McIntyre, a 23-year-old part-time sports columnist at The Buffalo Inquirer, stated that Bills’ WR Gabriel Davis is primed to go off in 2022, claiming Davis will “like, for sure have exactly 118 catches, 1,490 yards, and 20 touchdowns this year.” McIntyre also added that he “guarantees” and “promises” it will happen. “Davis was Josh Allen’s favorite
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Dynasty, also known as the Marvel Cinematic Universe of fantasy football platforms (it never ends and it consumes you), is sweeping the nation. Avid FF players are beginning to migrate, which means sharp players must make moves that benefit their rosters long-term to gain an edge. Here are the 10 things you need to know if you want to play
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Follow Fantasy Gazette on Twitter and subscribe to our e-mail list to receive more breaking news like this one. A WAL-MART OUTSIDE MIAMI, FL – Dolphins starting QB Tua Tagovailoa has failed to acquire a new toy at Wal-Mart, sources confirmed. The lefty from Alabama was reportedly attempting to throw a tantrum to acquire the new NERF semi-automatic N-Strike Elite
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Allentown, PA – Local dynasty fantasy football player Spike Daniels is reportedly seeking a trade for a younger girlfriend, sources confirmed. Spike is looking to move on from his girlfriend, 29-year-old Lisa Knight. The two had been going steady for a couple years when Daniels realized the clock was ticking for him to find a younger woman or stick with
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Atlanta, GA – Falcons star wideout Calvin Ridley has gotten his year-long suspension from the NFL reduced after using his gambling winnings to buy performance enhancing drugs. Ridley had been suspended for betting on NFL games on his smartphone, but appealed the suspension to Roger Goodell and the NFLPA this week while absolutely yoked from the steroids. “We’re thrilled to
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NORWICH, VT – Every April, the NFL Draft showcases hopeful stars and their rise to the big leagues. We also hear how they got there, and it’s often riddled with difficulties, involving death, hard drugs, and divorce. This year, one rookie has had it the worst: he grew up in an affluent neighborhood with absolutely no major life issues at
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Somewhere Online, USA – NFL superfan Jesse Montoya was pleased to announce via social media he completed his 39th personal mock draft ahead of Thursday Night. “Yeah, this is definitely the one,” he said. “I was up all night studying the Eagles’ draft strategy for the last 15 years and went through Bill Belichick’s trading tendencies, which I almost forgot
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Accuracy. Level of competition. Athletic variables. These things are all stupid and useless. There is only one metric that truly defines how great an athlete will be: how cool their name is. You know it, and I know it. There are objective facts in language and culture that create what we know as an athlete’s most recognizable and lasting brand…having
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