San Francisco, CA – At the 2021 LARP-Con, advocates for inclusive language have demanded fantasy football players remove the term ‘fantasy’ from their name, effective immediately. “We have had enough,” said Evan Draper while dressed as Sir Lancelot of the Round Table. “They’ve gotten away for this blasphemous language for too long. WE are the true fantasizers, not these heathenous
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Birmingham, AL – Local conservative man Jonathan Watson has exacted his revenge on former NFL QB Colin Kaepernick by drafting him with his final pick in the “Make Fantasy Great Again” league he created with some friends from high school. Watson plans to leave Kaepernick on his bench every single week. “Finally got that son’ bitch,” Watson said with a
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Tallahassee, FL – With the very last pick in his home full-point PPR league, a local fantasy player sighed deeply before selecting Titans RB Derrick Henry, sources confirmed. The mammoth RB has been a fantasy stud the past two years, but doesn’t really catch passes – making him completely irrelevant for PPR leagues. The brave, daring soul chose Henry over
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A new study has revealed that the day jobs thh he at tie fantasy football players to a desk is costing them a combined $5 billion in annual winnings from tournaments, leagues, and apps like DraftKings and FanDuel. We are not trying to demonize having a job,” Matthew Berry said Friday. “It is important to understand that there are more
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SEATTLE, WA – Local fantasy football player Courtney Smith was catching up on a few of her favorite podcasts when she was reportedly ‘confused’ why the male listeners needed to many reminders to shave their balls, sources to the Gazette confirmed. “I mean, I guess the new SkinSafe technology from Manscaped is kinda nice,” she said. “Are their male listeners
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Most NFL fans could name some of the best players on each team, but for fantasy football you have to dig a little deeper. Here’s the best fantasy value for each player on every NFL team: 49ers: RB Wayne Gallman, Jr – After Raheem Mostert and Trey Sermon exit with injuries in Week 1, Gallman is sure to crush it
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“What That Bear Doing?” an upcoming biopic on the life and legacy of Panthers WR Robby Anderson has been announced via Columbia Pictures and will feature comedian Eric Andre playing Robby. The film will detail Anderson’s early life, rise to NFL semi-stardom, and devastating years of torture from Adam Gase, before being set free to play in sunny Carolina. “Yeah,
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CANTON, OH – A simple question about whether or not Jalen Hurts is a fantasy QB1 at the Fantasy Football Expo in Canton has escalated into an all-out riot in the streets, according to sources. A panel on QBs opened up microphones to a Q&A session when one attendee got up and asked if Jalen Hurts should be in the
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CANTON, OH – Thousands of fantasy football players gasped in a horrific shock as undercover therapists revealed themselves at the 2021 fantasy football expo and asked attendees to sit in circles of 10 people. The DoubleTree Hotel in Canton, OH had been set up as an elaborate ruse to get fantasy football players the gambling addiction counseling they desperately need.
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