Tag Archives: Local

Dynasty Player Hoping To Trade Girlfriend For Younger Girlfriend

Allentown, PA – Local dynasty fantasy football player Spike Daniels is reportedly seeking a trade for a younger girlfriend, sources confirmed. Spike is looking to move on from his girlfriend, 29-year-old Lisa Knight. The two had been going steady for a couple years when Daniels realized the clock was ticking for him to find a younger woman or stick with

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Perfectly Healthy Man Completes 39th Mock Draft

Somewhere Online, USA – NFL superfan Jesse Montoya was pleased to announce via social media he completed his 39th personal mock draft ahead of Thursday Night. “Yeah, this is definitely the one,” he said. “I was up all night studying the Eagles’ draft strategy for the last 15 years and went through Bill Belichick’s trading tendencies, which I almost forgot

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Fantasy Football Player Killed After Gunman Asks Him To Name A Single Defensive Player

Los Angeles, CA – Tragic reports out of Orange County have confirmed local fantasy football player Ricardo Gonzalez has been killed after a kidnapper asked him to name any one defensive football player currently playing in the National Football League. Gonzalez is in over 35 fantasy football and dynasty leagues, but was unable to satisfy the gunman’s request in time

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Savvy Dynasty Player Drops All His Best Players So They Never Lose Value

Lansing, MI – Local dynasty aficionado Harry Frasier has been playing fantasy football for over 15 years, and is what many call a “savant” in dynasty philosophy. Frasier says the key to his sustained success is dropping his best players from his roster completely, just in case they face a significant value drop from injury, a trade to a bad

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Huge Malik Willis Fan Can’t Even Name 3 Of His Throws

Little Rock, AR – Local man and self-proclaimed Malik Willis “superfan” Jordan Belmont was enjoying a night out at Buffalo Wild Wings with his buddies and talking about the upcoming NFL Draft when a friend asked Belmont to name 3 of his favorite throws by Liberty QB Malik Willis, who was on Belmont’s t-shirt that very moment. “What?” he responded

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‘I Totally Knew Cooper Kupp Would Go Nuclear,’ Says Man Who Accidentally Drafted Him In 7th Round

Lansing, MI – Local fantasy football player Devin Patton was in high spirits following his team’s championship victory this past weekend, mainly off the back of Rams stud wideout Cooper Kupp. The Rams have one game left, and Kupp has a chance to break Calvin Johnson’s NFL record for receiving yards. Kupp is also the league leader in receptions (138)

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AMAZING: Fantasy Player Seeking A Healthier Lifestyle Was Only On His Phone For Eleven Hours, Thirty-Eight Minutes Sunday

Sheboygan, WI – A story too good to be true. Local NFL fanatic and avid fantasy player Matthew Schmidt checked his iPhone’s “screen time” and recorded a new personal low for a NFL Sunday: a mere 11 hours and 38 minutes. Way to go, Matthew! A feat he, his wife Katherine, and once-a-week neglected child Braylen were happy to celebrate

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