Allentown, PA – Local dynasty fantasy football player Spike Daniels is reportedly seeking a trade for a younger girlfriend, sources confirmed. Spike is looking to move on from his girlfriend, 29-year-old Lisa Knight. The two had been going steady for a couple years when Daniels realized the clock was ticking for him to find a younger woman or stick with
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Somewhere Online, USA – NFL superfan Jesse Montoya was pleased to announce via social media he completed his 39th personal mock draft ahead of Thursday Night. “Yeah, this is definitely the one,” he said. “I was up all night studying the Eagles’ draft strategy for the last 15 years and went through Bill Belichick’s trading tendencies, which I almost forgot
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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Local man Daniel Roberts has always followed the NFL. He normally has a keen eye for pointing out underrated quarterbacks like Jimmy Garoppolo, but recent reports showed his affection for “Jimmy G” is actually just a reflection of him being a dumbass, sources say. “Our team ran several tests to determine the root causes of
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Los Angeles, CA – Tragic reports out of Orange County have confirmed local fantasy football player Ricardo Gonzalez has been killed after a kidnapper asked him to name any one defensive football player currently playing in the National Football League. Gonzalez is in over 35 fantasy football and dynasty leagues, but was unable to satisfy the gunman’s request in time
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Lansing, MI – Local dynasty aficionado Harry Frasier has been playing fantasy football for over 15 years, and is what many call a “savant” in dynasty philosophy. Frasier says the key to his sustained success is dropping his best players from his roster completely, just in case they face a significant value drop from injury, a trade to a bad
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Little Rock, AR – Local man and self-proclaimed Malik Willis “superfan” Jordan Belmont was enjoying a night out at Buffalo Wild Wings with his buddies and talking about the upcoming NFL Draft when a friend asked Belmont to name 3 of his favorite throws by Liberty QB Malik Willis, who was on Belmont’s t-shirt that very moment. “What?” he responded
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Lansing, MI – Local fantasy football player Devin Patton was in high spirits following his team’s championship victory this past weekend, mainly off the back of Rams stud wideout Cooper Kupp. The Rams have one game left, and Kupp has a chance to break Calvin Johnson’s NFL record for receiving yards. Kupp is also the league leader in receptions (138)
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Sheboygan, WI – A story too good to be true. Local NFL fanatic and avid fantasy player Matthew Schmidt checked his iPhone’s “screen time” and recorded a new personal low for a NFL Sunday: a mere 11 hours and 38 minutes. Way to go, Matthew! A feat he, his wife Katherine, and once-a-week neglected child Braylen were happy to celebrate
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There really isn’t much to this story. Just a local Houston guy was gonna “kablooie” himself with a revolver he bought at the corner store cause the Texans are so bad and the coaching staff is awful and their star quarterback is a sex offender and whatnot. Anyways, they won a game so he told us he’s gonna wait one
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