MUSK HQ – In a shocking development amidst his acquisition of Twitter, CEO Elon Musk announced yet another new feature regarding Twitter’s verification badges – no more bad fantasy football takes. “I’m all about accountability, and we must hold no one more accountable than fantasy football analysts,” said Musk. “I took a look at the industry and what people want,
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BetterHelp, an online therapy portal, announced Tuesday a new version of their services directed at a specific audience: therapy for fantasy football players. Fantasy Football Related Trauma (FFRT) affects millions of Americans per year, and BetterHelp is taking initiative to fix it. “We can keep offering therapy for mental health conditions, sure,” said CEO Alon Matas. “But we’re not getting
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It’s trade deadline season, which means its time to start making up wild guesses and assumptions about the NFL if that means you’ll read our website (it worked). We’ve already seen a couple noteworthy deals go down, so let’s move on to Jets WR Elijah Moore, who is so mad he wants out of the New York Jets organization. How
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It was an ordinary night in the Carson household. After a routine chili-and-Scrabble night followed by any homework that needed completed and leftover cinnamon rolls from that morning, Michelle and David Carson did a routine bedroom check around the house. They didn’t expect to see what was on their 17-year-old son Beckett’s computer. Beckett, who was still in the bathroom
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When I was nine years old, I went missing. My friend, we’ll call him Mike, came over to play Madden 04 (Falcons were off-limits, for obvious reasons), and we decided to head out to the skate park and just walk around town a little after dinner. My mother was home, and I told her we were headed out (she was
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Harrisburg, PA: 39-year-old Kaela Yost was subconsciously rubbing her left thumb against her now naked ring finger. Her gaze wandered off outside where her former husband, Tim, was loading the last of his belongings into a rented Penske truck. Their children Teagan, Kaegan, and Braeden looked on disappointedly, the Yost family’s legacy completely tarnished. “I mean, seriously, five losses in a
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Everyone that has ever walked God’s green Earth knows that fantasy football players are roughly 69 times more likely to participate in “the sex” or receive sexual favors than those who refrain from playing fantasy football. We all learn it at some point in middle school sexual education, I know I did! We don’t know about you, but we have
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BREAKING – Sources have confirmed that the NFL is promoting Latino Heritage Month (September 15th-October 15th) by broadcasting all of its live gamed with a dark yellow color filter to give the appearance the games are being played in Mexico. Commissioner Roger Goodell said the move is a long overdue one to give representation to the constantly dark and ominous
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NORFOLK, VA – Local accountant and fantasy football player Christian Campbell told reporters Wednesday he was going to check his cell phone for a quick six hours to update and manage his fantasy football rosters. A quick check-in to see which waiver claims he successfully made overnight at approximately 10:00 am will last until “roughly 4:00 pm, give or take,”
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Fantasy Gazette 