Local dynasty player Madeline Cooper was reportedly “shaking” and “in shambles” after a quick Google search of “Jonathan Taylor age” led her to discover the star running back’s 30th birthday is rapidly approaching, and will be here in eight years. “I drafted JT with my 1.03 rookie pick last year, and it was going well for a while,” Cooper said.
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Madison, WI – Listen up snowflakes, it’s time to face the music. There are simply not enough men in the fantasy football industry.! You and I love this game, and we need to amplify men’s voices, Amen?! Back in my day, we used to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, vote Republican, not watch so much TV, and throw rocks
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DENVER, CO – A local man who really needs to get kicked in the balls went on record today that he was very happy a NFL player he didn’t have in fantasy football got injured, putting the player’s career in jeopardy as well as his overall health and well-being as a human being. “Hell yeah, man! I NEVER wanted to
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It’s a cold Sunday afternoon in New York City on December 6th, 2020. Just 13 seconds remain on the clock. The 0-11 Jets, led by Adam Gase, allow Las Vegas’ Henry Ruggs to slip behind their entire defense for a 46-yard touchdown. The Jets lose 31-23 and are now 0-12. That fateful day, Critical Gase Theory gained more victims. Critical
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Gazette sources have confirmed the single funniest man in the entire fucking universe just named his fantasy football team “Show Me Your TDs.” We don’t know about you, but the genius-level intellect and advanced humor has us crying. The unbelievably hilarious and clever nickname “Show Me Your TDs” is a play-on-words. We figured it would need explained for the feeble
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Long-time fantasy football analyst Josh Myers ha reportedly been “heavily recommending” ZeroRB draft strategies across all formats, despite never supporting it before. “Yeah, it’s true,” Myers said. “I figured that people with great fantasy success don’t need analysts like me around. I need to start recommending strategies that make them suck and then immediately start giving tips to fixing it.”
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At the Gazette, we believe in fantasy football with etiquette and class. SIKE. You want to win don’t you, princess? Etiquette is for losers, so nut up. We are going to show you EXACTLY how to rob your friends and make their eyes piss tears. The truth about fantasy football is taking advantage of other people in trades wins you
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The U.S. Department of Homeland Security recently made a shocking addition to their watch list of violent and dangerous religious cults – Dynasty Fantasy Football. According to Fantasy Gazette’s top-secret government informant, Dynasty Fantasy Football will be ranked fourth on the “Most Dangerous Cults” list – between the Westboro Baptist Chuch and Al-Qaeda. For those unfamiliar, Dynasty Fantasy Football combines
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Heartbreak comes in many shapes and forms. Fantasy football players around the world gathered in sorrow this week when a report showed that fantasy points from last season will have absolutely no bearing on the 2021 season, which begins tonight when the Dallas Cowboys face the defending champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. “I thought it was a guarantee Davante Adams would
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BLOOMINGTON, IN – While debating his running back rankings, local fantasy football player Marcus Johnson criticized Chicago’s David Montgomery for his success due to an easy schedule, then immediately called Jonathan Taylor “the next superstar running back.” Both players were elite in the final games of 2020 – mostly against horrible defenses. In Montgomery’s final six games, he played six
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Fantasy Gazette 