Category Archives: Local

CONTROVERSY: 49ers Wide Receiver Coach Heard Shouting “Let’s Go Brandon!” At Practice

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Turns out San Francisco’s Wide Receiver coach is an absolute f*cking racist asshole right-winger Joe-Rogan-supporting piece of shit. One of Fantasy Gazette’s unpaid interns (posing as an actual paid intern) visited San Francisco’s practice and overheard the coach yell “Let’s go Brandon” while the wideouts worked on running routes. Truly sickening. Apparently, one of the team’s top young receivers (our

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Mental Health Experts Warn Fantasy Football Players Not To Click “Draft Recap”

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Nashville, TN – Local fantasy football player Isaiah Maxwell was reflecting on his 10th-place fantasy football finish Thursday when he decided to take the treacherous, grief-filled journey back to the “Draft Recap” page on his fantasy league’s website, sources say. Maxwell was “distraught, spiraling, and I think about to cry even” said his wife. “I heard a bunch of stuff

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‘I Totally Knew Cooper Kupp Would Go Nuclear,’ Says Man Who Accidentally Drafted Him In 7th Round

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Lansing, MI – Local fantasy football player Devin Patton was in high spirits following his team’s championship victory this past weekend, mainly off the back of Rams stud wideout Cooper Kupp. The Rams have one game left, and Kupp has a chance to break Calvin Johnson’s NFL record for receiving yards. Kupp is also the league leader in receptions (138)

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If John Madden Was So Great, How Come He Just Let Me Use Racial Slurs After I Lost At His Video Game?

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Newsflash, NFL fans. John Madden’s death is super sad and stuff, but is he really for the non-white community? After all, he didn’t stop me just now when I yelled racial slurs through my gaming headset at someone who beat me in a game of Madden 22. Yikes, John. Do better. After I scored a touchdown to go up 4

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Guy Just Simply Needs Eight Fumbles From Great Player To Win Fantasy Football Matchup

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Memphis, TN – A local fantasy football semifinalist was in a “great mood” Monday morning, reportedly realizing all his team needs to advance within his league’s playoffs is a 8-fumble game from one of the best players in the National Football League. A summer’s worth of draft preparation and a four-month long strategy to put together the best statistical fantasy

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Top Five Reasons My Fantasy Team’s Playoff Win Was Bullshit According To The Guy I Eliminated

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I eliminated one of my good friends from our fantasy league’s playoffs this past weekend, but apparently not without some “b.s. (bullshit)” involved. Here’s the top 5 reasons my win didn’t count according to him: 1. He didn’t set his lineup correctly. Apparently, he was busy every moment through the entire week all the way up until 1:00 on Sunday

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Star Fantasy Football Player Considered Week-To-Week With Carpal Tunnel

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Sacramento, CA – Gazette sources confirmed fantasy football star Jacob Blackmon is now week-to-week with what his physician has diagnosed as carpal tunnel. This could prove to be a brutal blow to the 11-2 fantasy team. “I had been aggressively researching players, tinkering with my lineup, scouring waivers, and proposing trades all season. I guess it just caught up to

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PAINFUL: This Man Would’ve Won A Million Dollars On DraftKings If He Simply Picked A Different QB, WR2, WR3, TE, and Defense

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Salem, MA – Pain. That’s the only word to describe local DFS player Mark Winters’ feeling after narrowly missing a giant, life-changing amount of cash on the DraftKings app this weekend. Winters needed just 105.9 more points from his “Full Roster” lineup to win $1,000,000. According to sources, Winters played exactly zero of the players that won the top performer

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