BRISTOL, CT – Slay queen! ESPN has announced beginning this fall a brand new fantasy football app for women: ESPN Fantasy For Her. Announced on International Women’s Day, the massive company believes this is a giant win moving forward for a new target demographic. “We’ve heard for years that the fantasy football space has been dominated by men,” said Nate
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[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as
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Las Vegas, NV – Following a day of pulling himself up by his bootstraps, QB Derek Carr has been asked by Pro Bowl officials to stop handing out his resume to opposing team’s front office personnel. A likely trade or cut candidate, Carr was benched late in the 2022 season for Jarrett Stidham, left the team, and said goodbye to
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Lexington, KY – It’s a beautiful time in any dynasty fantasy football player’s life: the moment they know their rebuild is over. Just ask Paul Forman, whose years of research and elaborate trades have prepared his dynasty team for a championship run no earlier than the year of our Lord 2038. “After sending away D’Andre Swift and Jaylen Waddle for
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BUFFALO, NY – A shocking new conspiracy theory has taken the internet by storm. Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who infamously suffered cardiac arrest on Monday Night Football earlier this year, was shown heavily covered up in a box suite during the Bills’ playoff clash with Cincinnati. Conspiracy theorists immediately and confidently took to their phones to point out that Hamlin
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Following yet another shocking event in which he embarrassed or otherwise degraded himself, former NFL star wide receiver Antonio Brown spoke to reporters and saying he was tired of being disrespected by his therapist. “It gets really old when you’re just trying to live your life and this mental health dude you meet with every week starts telling you about
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CLEVELAND, OH – Moments after a much-needed overtime victory against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Browns fans were innocently celebrating across FirstEnergy Stadium in Cleveland when a shocking tragedy struck. Jackson Worhauser, a 16-year-old seeing his very first Browns game, was drilled in the back of the head by a heat-seeking Microsoft Surface tablet that was errantly thrown from somewhere in
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Omaha, NE – Local man Saul Davis was speaking to coworkers Monday morning about the weekend when eyetwitnesses said the avid fantasy football player was on the verge of tears speaking about his team. More specifically, a botched lineup decision regarding players in the Sunday Night Football contest: he benched Chargers WR Joshua Palmer (8 catches, 100 yards, and 2
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MACON, GA – The good news? A local fantasy football analyst named Derek is now verified on Twitter. The bad news? His net worth is now steadily declining at exactly $8.00 per month. “I bought the verification to step up in the industry, because I’m not pathetic like some people,” said Derek. “I actually SUPER care about fantasy football. This
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MUSK HQ – In a shocking development amidst his acquisition of Twitter, CEO Elon Musk announced yet another new feature regarding Twitter’s verification badges – no more bad fantasy football takes. “I’m all about accountability, and we must hold no one more accountable than fantasy football analysts,” said Musk. “I took a look at the industry and what people want,
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Fantasy Gazette 